So I am just about to finish up my first year at University. Right now, as I am typing this, I should be working on my journal that is due tomorrow afternoon. But I just needed a little break to vent about how I feel about this year.
So straight after high school I was pretty keen on working as a writer, in some way shape or form. I loved English in high school and writing is one of my personal strengths. And I even enjoy it. However, when it came to thinking about my future more, I decided that writing was perhaps not the most sustainable career and I would most likely end up in professional writing or journalism. I wanted to write my own stories, not other people's, so this made me sit down and reassess my choices. The second option that had always been in the back of my mind was architecture. I was always very interested in home design, and the construction industry is generally easier to find work in than creative industries, right? So I went ahead and switched to architecture and that is what I have done this year. However I have just applied next year to switch into construction management and economics. Wow, that's a big jump from the creative industries! Yes I know. But I can say that this semester has taught me a lot about myself and what environments I function well in.
I love being creative. It makes me happy. It helps me to express myself and gives me hobbies. However, this semester, doing creative things with the pressure of deadlines and requirements made me completely miserable. I am not going to deny that I enjoyed some of the work that we did this year (making short films and designing garden villas) but the pressure of university really did take a lot of the fun out of it for me. I am not someone who can force inspiration out of no where when it comes to design. My best ideas have a tendency to come to me in the middle of the day when I am eating a sandwich, or waiting for a bus. I don't really believe that good ideas come out of observing existing works, or making mind maps, or sitting with a blank piece of paper. That's great if these techniques work for you, but they really don't for me. Not being able to generate ideas at my own pace really stressed me out and as I said before, it made me miserable.
The other thing that generally annoyed me was how much of a faff the philosophy behind the art is in general. There is only a certain number of times I can be asked about 'how does it make people feel?' before I want to shout at someone. I certainly someone who believes that art is important in our society, but I also believe that there should be a certain about of practicality in any subject. There were quite a few moments this year when I thought to myself "Did I accidentally sign up to a fine art degree by mistake?"
Now there are some things that I did enjoy this semester. I really enjoyed organizing and planning things, especially in my communications unit in the first semester. I enjoy working with other people, especially in regards to organizing them and their work. This really came through to me in group assessments, I hate it when people use the word 'leader' but I would have to say that I am more of a leader and instructor. I think I am really good at at it too. I am good at getting things done. I also have always had an uncanny ability to remember things. I know that the term 'photographic memory' is incorrect but I do have a very good memory ie. I don't really have to study very hard for tests usually. Now I guess when I came to look at my strengths, I thought I would be better working in project management or contract administration than design.
So that is what I have decided to go for next year. I will definitely keep you updated on how it all goes, and I may very well get to the end of next year and dislike that degree too. But I am hoping that this will make me feel less stressed out, and more likely to enjoy what I am learning.
And I will keep the art for the weekends.